$48.44

Hey SYTYCP Fans, what...did you think I forgot about you?

So, yesterday was a milestone day for our family's financial situation. Nothing big, just a tentative milestone worthy of a little celebration. I suggested we all go out to dinner at our favorite local apizza restaurant. (The good ones are called "apizza", not just "pizza".) After all, we haven't been out to a restaurant in a while. It's kind of tough to do so with two in diapers...not including myself. Anyways, we arrived, sat down and ordered our meals: Wifey got the linguini with fresh clam sauce, Thing 1 a small cheese pizza, and I ordered the lobster ravioli special. We were all so hungry that the smell of the place made us salivate.

After the waitress took our order, things started to get wild. Luckily, this place has two beautiful salt-water fish tanks to keep Thing 1 busy. Unluckily, that only used up about 3 minutes. All the while, Thing 2 is starting to fuss in her carrier seat. Normally, Thing 2 is a very happy, laid back, easy going baby. But when she starts to get tired or hungry, she doesn't give much warning until her cries reach DEFCON1. By now, Wifey is comforting Thing 2, while I'm following Thing 1 around the restaurant. (Fortunately, we're the only ones in there at the time.)

It felt like forever until Thing 1's pizza arrived, but what a joyous sight when it did. Maybe now things will settle down and we can all eat. Or maybe not.

Thing 2 was still fussing while Wifey and me ate our salads. Wait…allow me to clarify...Wifey is eating her salad with one hand while holding Thing 2 in the other hand. And I am eating salad with one hand while making sure Thing 1 doesn't launch herself out of the booster seat with the other hand. That's how we ate our salads – one handed, and then the awesome meals arrived.

Oh how delicious our meals looked! And they were delicious….at least only the few bites we managed to scarf down. By now, Thing 2 was at Code Red and poor Wifey took her for what was to be a short ride in the car so she could fall asleep. While Wifey was driving around, Thing 1 puts down her pizza bone (the leftover crust piece), raises her arms as if to signal a field goal, and declares "DONE!"

Uh-oh!

Unbeknownst to me, while I'm trying to keep a leash on Thing 1 (picture trying to hold down a cat on a veternarian's examination table), Wifey is parking somewhere in order to nurse Thing 2. Fortunately, the waitress was on the ball and gave me some take away containers to fill up while she rang up my bill. You try packing away two Italian dinners and a small cheese pizza while trying to prevent Thing 1 from climbing over the booth, taking off wall decorations, and throwing Exorcist-like fits when you try to control her. Where is Wifey with the car?!?!?

Just as I finish packing up and signing the check, Wifey pulls in the lot. I haul Thing 1 out with one arm while holding a bunch of food in the other. Wifey opens the car door and all I can hear is Thing 2 wailing away. Hurry up and get everyone in the car....ooops I dropped the binky....which Thing 1 reminded me with cries of "BINKY! BINKY! BINKY!"

Finally, we're in the car and on the way home, hungrier than ever so we chowed down on Thing 1's pizza. Thing 2 fell asleep, and Thing 1 sat quietly (how ironic).

The moral of the story is that going out to dinner with two in diapers can be a stressful event where lots of food gets ordered but very little gets eaten. Kids will scream, cry and wreak havoc while Mom and Dad reach their wits end. It may have cost $48.44 for dinner (including generous tip), but we know these kinds of memories are priceless. One day when the kids are grown and we can all sit down to eat like civilized people, we'll reflect upon outings like this and laugh....and cry...because we'll actually long for them.